Monday, September 14, 2009

Has It Been 3 Weeks Yet?

Since my current state of busy does not seem to be easing up, I don't seem to have much time for blogging. Which I am not happy about. I feel I should have proper blogging time at least once a week. But tell that to my customers who are bombarding me with quote requests and making me actually work hard (how dare they?). So instead of completely abandoning my loyal readers (if I have any left after my extended time away), I have decided to randomly post some old blogs that I posted on my MySpace way back during my fist year with this company. Enjoy!

The Real Breakup Letter (November 14, 2006)

Dear Kenny,

I regret to inform you that you will no longer be able to see and/or talk to me. The decision is based on your actions at our first and final meeting. I will agree with you on the point that I am quite the catch. However, I do not date pretentious, arrogant donkeys who think they are God's gift to women. I refuse to place myself in the position of being your slave or lesser being. I will not follow you around like a lost puppy. Nor will I allow your hands to "rest" on any part of my body. I do not care how much money you make, or what kind of car you drive. I do, however, care how you treat others, myself included.

Additionally, I would like to finish my wine before YOU decide that WE are done eating. While I do not care if you open the door for me, I do not appreciate you allowing it to close in my face. Just as I do not appreciate you turning around and walking away, expecting me to follow. As stated before, I am not your lost puppy.

In the future, if a woman removes your hand from her thigh, it is not an invitation to place your hand higher on her thigh. She is politely asking you to keep your greedy little hands to yourself. Furthermore, when sending emails to people, it is important to capitalize and punctuate your words. For instance, ill is not the same as I'll. I'll means I will where as ill is how I feel when I think about you and your grubby little hands. Please do not attempt to contact me any further, as your replies will fall upon deaf ears.


1 comment:

  1. Ahahaha, please tell me you actually sent this to someone! Please please please tell me it's true!!!