Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I can't be funny all the time people.

I'm getting ready to enter a busy few days here at work, which means you probably won't hear from me for awhile. So I wanted to get this one out to you before I enter the days of unreasonable torture. Sadly, I don't have one really great story to tell you about, so I'm going to give you a bunch of random mini stories.

1. Since Mason NEVER reads my blog, I figure I can talk about him all I want. And since he never reads it I don't have to worry about fluffing his ego, I can just tell you all the bad things. Unfortunately, the only bad thing I have at the moment is that he lost his glasses in the river. Twice. That's right, twice. I found them once, which was a miracle in itself. The second time, they were gone, forever. Did we think to take his old pair to wear on the river? No. Did we think to buy floaties for them when I was standing at the raft rental place looking right at them? No. Did we talk about the possibility of loosing them before we left on the trip? Yes. Did we think it would happen? Apparently not. Since Mason has been going on these family trips for years and years and has never lost his glasses, apparently that means it doesn't happen. As it turns out, you don't even have to go underwater to loose them in semi-deep, murky, steady current water. Imagine that.

2. We are getting a new vending company at work, and you have no idea how excited this makes me. Goodbye crappy Folgers coffee, hello fresh ground, not at all bitter, coffee. And, as if that weren't good enough, the vending machines will now have a "healthy snack" option. Apparently we are also getting "a better cold beverage selection" but unless they are adding Barqs Root Beer, I don't see how it could get much better then the current Pepsi and Coke options. Perhaps I am most excited about the fact that my building will be the lucky recipient of the one and only "fresh food" machine. Which apparently is going to include salad, yum. I just hope they don't have a slot to swipe my debit card.

3. With Mason and I being out of town so much this month, Koby has turned more destructive and more daring with his destructiveness. Sunday night he showed me exactly how he is able to sneak in the closed closet and chew on the insoles that are no longer sticky. When we opened the closet door he trotted out holding the insole in his mouth like a trophy. We put a bucket of water outside for the dogs with it being so hot, Koby chewed off the handle, and part of the bottom so that it no longer holds water, smart dog, now you have to be thirsty. There is now a gapping hole in my bathroom rug, I've managed to hide it, but if it gets any bigger, I'm going to have to toss the rug. And yes, the bathroom door was closed, but he has learned that it doesn't always latch, so he head butts it to get in. He has also become a huge fan of the bathroom trash, especially those dirty feminine products. Boy are they fun to shred. DISCUSTING! On the plus side, he hasn't touched the deck for two whole weeks (knock on wood).

4. Charlie, Mason and I are very excited about the 4th being just around the corner. Sheeba is not at all happy about it, I'm sure she will be hiding under the bed the entire day. And since this will be Koby's first, we're not sure how he will handle it. My guess is that since he is so "curious" he will love it. And of course Charlie can't wait to try and catch the fireworks again, the bottle rockets are his favorite. He's only been allowed to attend the festivities once, and he came back with singed hair and a big ole' goofy grin. He wasn't quite ready for the party to be over when the cop came and broke it up. I haven't yet decided if he will be allowed to join the block party or not this year.

5. We finally got Mason's car back from the shop. After 4 weeks of borrowing Dad's "I'm about to loose my muffler and I don't know what a clear coat is" car, I'm happy to say that I officially have my explorer back. Mason is now driving his car to work since he doesn't have to haul around big windows anymore. I missed it so much. I missed being able to start my car from my desk, I missed being able to change the temperature and the radio from the steering wheel, and I missed sitting up off the road. Don't get me wrong, Mason's car is very nice (when it isn't broken) but I LOVE my car.

6. Did I mention that Mason and I are very excited about the 4th of July being so near? We stopped at 4 fireworks stands on the way home from the Stockwell Family Vacation. After the second tent we said we were done. After the third tent which offered buy 1 get 4 free items, we said we were really done. After the 4th tent, where we only bought 2 things for one great deal, we drove straight home with our blinders on. While we got way more then we intended to get, we spent only a little more then we planned on spending. We got plenty of the big pretty ones that light up the sky with colors and sparkles, and we have tons of little ones that we can fire off for days to feed our slight pyromaniac tendencies. Okay, to feed my pyro tendencies and Mason's thrill at making things go boom.

7. The Challenger Baseball season is almost over, and I'm not happy about that. Even though only half of our team shows up, on a good day. But I will enjoy having two days of sleeping in again, and I'm looking forward to the Challenger Family Picnic. Always a fun time. The end of the season snuck up on me though. I was going to take tons of pictures this season, and I haven't done that yet.

I guess that's about all I have for now. Wish me luck for the beginning of the month chaos which I am about to endure.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

A Little Sympathy Please

So I went to the dentist last night. Nothing new there. The dentist chair and I are old friends, I've been there so much I could write a book. I have stories from falling asleep in the chair while being worked on, to waking up during surgery. I've had so many of those dang numbing shots that I need twice as much just to get me numb. The average person would have required two shots for the procedures I had last night. Guess how many I needed. Go ahead, guess. FIVE! Even my new dentist was shocked. It wasn't until after he started drilling we realized I needed the fifth shot, which was injected into the roof of my mouth. It hurt more then the drilling. "You're going to feel a pinch." I know what a pinch feels like, and that was no pinch. Sticking the needle in was a pinch, injecting the fluid was getting stabbed with pencils over and over again. In the end, almost the entire left side of my face was numb. My forehead and chin were spared the trauma. My left nostril and lower eye lid however, were not.

I have now officially been told by two separate dentists "Don't ever let anyone tell you that you have a big mouth." Do you know how many times I have been told that I have a big mouth? To all those people... HA! You were wrong! I do NOT have a big mouth. He also said, more then once, that it felt like he was back in dental school. That's right, I'm here to test your skills, glad I could provide a challenge for you. Keep me as a patient and you'll have TV's in all your rooms just like my last dentist got. That was nice. If nothing else, I could plant my vise grip on the remote instead of my own hands. Plus it would have been nice to have something to look at for the TWO HOURS that I was in that dang chair. I would also like to mention that they had to use a special tool to pull my cheek out past my ear. I'm pretty sure there is some internal bruising, cause it still hurts (insert appropriate amount of sympathy here).

In other news, it appears that my personal ban on coffee is over. Hopefully it's just a temporary strike against the ban. Too many nights of not getting to sleep until after midnight makes a girl crave alternative energy sources. Tomorrow I head off to make my tank top tan lines a nice bright red.

Monday, June 22, 2009

What can I say? She made my day.

Do you know what the perfect way to start your day is? Picture this, your standing in your driveway, throwing things in one car and digging in the center console of the other car. After you find what you were looking for, you see a little old Asian woman running up your driveway and engulfing you in a big hug. Could I tell you this woman's name? No. Did I find it odd to have some woman that I have never actually met running to hug me before I left for work? Not even a little. It was cute and charming, and it made me feel super tall.

I know what you're thinking. There must be more to the story. Certainly there aren't crazy women running around St. Charles randomly hugging people. Well, you're right, there is more to the story. But it is a much better story if I let you think that she is just some crazy lady. Perhaps you would run to hug me too if you had eaten a plate of my famous chocolate chip cookies. Cookies that are so good a stranger proposed to me after eating them (apparently her son was single and she approved of my cooking skills). Obviously I declined, but that's not the point.

Okay, so now you are wondering how this woman that I have never met got a plate of my cookies. Well that's the less exciting part of the story. Her husband Cecil just had surgery, and Cecil has helped us out in the past. So Mason and I made them some cookies (and he won't tell my top secret cookie recipe, so don't ask) and Mason delivered them yesterday morning. I would have gone with him to deliver them, but they were walking out the door and I was still in my not so attractive PJ's and I had just thrown my safe to walk outside pants into the wash. So Cecil's wife, whose name I still do not know, caught me this morning to say thanks. See, it would have been a much more fun story if you would have stopped reading after the first paragraph.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Flip Flops and Tan Lines

Last year when the company survey came out, we asked for some very important changes. We asked for casual day every day, that our sick days, vacation days and personal days be rolled into one category, we also wanted telecommuting and profit sharing. We were given all of these things. So what did we ask for this year? The right to wear flip flops, and that our toilet seats not be loose. That's it. Of course we got them, but one would think that since we have such an agreeable company, we would have asked for bigger things then flip-flops and stable toilet seats. People laughed and nodded when they promised to fix the toilet seats, and cheered quite loudly when we were told we could wear flips. Why is everyone so happy we can wear flips again? I have no idea, we all wore them before and never got scolded. The only difference is now we can wear them guilt free. I used to bend the rules by wearing my nicer ones, flips with leather, heels, beads... now I can wear my cheapies. Which is irrelevant really, cause half the time my shoes are under my desk while my bare feet are tucked up under my legs or propped up on the box under my desk. This is also why I rarely wear shoes with laces or buckles to work, in case you were actually wondering. Which I'm sure you were not.

Hmm, I had a whole other tangent I was going to go on, but I got distracted reading Becky's blog. Oh! It was about how I am going to get a nice flip flop tan line this weekend. Not nearly as exciting as I remembered it being in my head. Anyway, we are headed up to Indy to admire shinny old cars and watch as the dragsters race by. Without fail, every time I go I get burnt to a crisp. It's not the lack of sunscreen, it's just being in the blazing sun for that many days. Fortunately it's supposed to stop raining long enough for most of the racing, not too hot, not too cold. Hopefully this way I won't drive half way to Chicago on my way to Indy. Thank goodness I have the Garmin now. No missed turns for me!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Watermelon Makes Me Burp

Seriously, it does. I mean, it's made entirely of sweetly flavored water and air, so it makes sense. But aside from that, I'm pretty sure I'm falling apart. I blame the old age personally. The quarter of a century mark came and went several years ago, well two years ago anyway. Over the weekend my knee popped twice, the first time shooting pain throughout my limb and almost failing to help me stand. The second time just reminding me of lingering pain. Which really wouldn't haven't been a big deal if my hip hadn't practically locked up and if my shoulder wasn't in serious pain for two weeks now. And on top of all that, I wasn't carded the last three times I bought alcohol.

Remember when you were excited you didn't get carded? I didn't even get carded on my 21st birthday. Then it was rare that I didn't get carded after that, especially since they started enforcing the "We card under 35." So either the short hair makes me look almost twice my age, or I really look twice my age. Or, the people at the restaurant, gas station and grocery store are going blind. I would understand if I had wrinkles and didn't pluck all my grays. But how on earth can I have a zit on my chin and not get carded at the same time? Seriously people, there is a ZIT ON MY CHIN, you should probably card me. And it's one of those annoying lingering ones too.

Further more, (cause I haven't done nearly enough complaining yet) my oh so kind boss placed a little bucket full of candy on my desk and it has been STARING at me all day. Well, at least the remaining pieces have been staring at me. Which by the way, I don't really love the Reese's Whipps all that much. Didn't stop me from eating the whole thing though. I think I need a vacation, one that involves laying on a beach, jumping the waves and maybe getting flung from a surf board. But I'll settle for 4:30 Friday afternoon.