The Reason I Don't Set People Up

Dear _______ (you know who you are),

This is not easy for me to say, and perhaps it won't be easy for you to hear. But in spite of the good times/conversations we've shared, I've come to the conclusion that it's best not to continue dating. You have showed your true colors this weekend, and they turned out to be quite an ugly shade of purple. If you would have taken the time to get to know me, you would know how very much I detest purple.

I am not impressed that you used to date models, it just proves to me that you are not looking for a girl with intelligence like me. I am also not impressed that you sold all of your worldly possessions to live in another country but gave up after two weeks. Which let's be honest, that was stupid. It doesn't show me how worldly you are, it just shows me that you don't put in any effort and that you give up easily after making rash decisions. I have friends that have vacationed in Europe longer then that. Your constant need for attention is exhausting. Believe it or not, but a relationship is not all about you.

Of course all of those character flaws could have been overlooked for the time being, if you had been able to keep your hands to yourself. Apparently the button of my jeans was far more interesting then my verbal skills. For the record, I'm very nice and quite funny, not that you care. Furthermore, just because I have boobs does not mean you need to try and feel them, especially after I said no.

Perhaps contrary to your past experiences, no does actually mean no. The boundaries I set were not a dotted line, but a thick, solid, written in permanent marker line. Not only did your advances make me uncomfortable in my own home, but you managed to disrespect me and my values. Shame on you for claiming to have Christian values while not respecting women for who they are instead of what they are.

You may not have noticed anything above my chest, but I am actually quite cute. I have a lot of great things to say and I'm very entertaining. It's unfortunate that you were unwilling to get to know me instead of just my body. Because of your actions, you will never be able to witness any of the exciting mishaps that regularly occur in my life. I know for a fact that you, of all people, would have appreciated those the most.

Please know I am not upset that our time together was so brief, as I prefer to keep the company of people with more than two brain cells and at least an ounce of respect for others. Good luck finding your brainless bimbo, I'm sure there are plenty that would be happy to be nothing but a trophy.

Respectfully,
Probably every smart girl you have ever gone out with.

*I wrote this letter to make ammends for setting my friend up with this horrible "d-bag."