A Long, Scary Story

Sunday I woke up to a stiff back, nothing unusual for me, just annoying. When Mason and I went to the grocery store that evening, my back was really starting to bother me, and my stomach was getting increasingly uncomfortable. My back was hurting so much, that I was one of those pregnant women walking around with a hand pressed to their back. But still it really measured just above the uncomfortable level for me. Perhaps if I wasn't so used to back pain it would have been a different story. After we got home from the store, I was really feeling the pain. I had an ice cream bar on the way home to try to comfort and sooth, plus it sounded good. And it was.

By 10, I was in serious pain. I couldn't get comfortable, I couldn't even get a tinniest bit of relief. So around 10:30, I had had enough of trying to get comfortable on the couch and went to bed while Mason stayed up working on homework. I tossed and turned, trying to find enough relief to sleep, but every position I tried hurt just as much, if not more. I tried distracting myself with a book, I couldn't even get through a paragraph. The whole time begging for the pain to stop, and trying to convince myself that I was not having contractions in my back. Because those would be intense for a few moments, and then go away. This was steady non-relenting serious pain for 2 solid hours. Finally I gave up on the whole falling asleep in bed thing around 11.

I went to join Mason in the living room since he didn't seem to hear my silent pleas for him to come to the bedroom. Apparently we need to work on that whole telepathy thing. I was already crying a little bit when I gave up on sleeping. Mostly because I was frustrated that the intense pain wouldn't go away for even a moment. So I walked to the living room, laid down on the couch and simply said "it hurts" when Mason asked what was wrong. And as everyone knows, when you are barely in control of your emotions, the last thing you need is sympathy. Mason got up, came over to my couch and asked me something along the lines of are you okay? Really I can't tell you what the actual question was, but I can tell you my answer. "It just hurts so bad!" (sobbing, I mean, real sobbing) "And now I can't stop crying!"

Mason tried to massage out the pain, encouraging me to take deep breaths.  But it wasn't helping, it wasn't really making it any worse either. And then the pressure on my stomach started. Which I really don't think would have been so bad if it weren't on top of the back pain. Mason kept asking me if I wanted him to call the doctor, to which I replied no, and stubbornly added, "I'm not calling the doctor for a back ache." And then, and then I thought I was going to throw up. So I ran to the bathroom and apparently gave up all my rights to decide how we resolved this issue. While I was hovering over the toilet, waiting for the inevitable, Mason called his Mom, who told him to call the doctor, who told us to head to Labor and Delivery.

What?! I'm not even wearing my CUTE pajamas! "Call my Mom." Seriously? I'm not ready for this! "I don't know which underwear to wear."
"Just pick a pair."
"But someone might see them!" No one saw them, in case you were wondering. "Call my Mom."
"Oh, yeah." ... "She didn't answer."
"Sometimes her ringer isn't turned up, try Dad."
I'm not sure if he tried Dad or not, but he called my sister who just happened to be over there delivering their dogs and explained the situation and we headed to the hospital.  Me in agony, Mason in barely controlled panic.

I'm not ready for this! I don't have my bag packed, I don't even have a car seat. Oh, wait. Mason's parents got that for us for a shower present. I'm sure we can get that early. They can bring it to the hospital if they need to. I'm not ready for this! I didn't even bring my PJ's. How am I ever going to tell Mason exactly what I need him to bring and where it is? I don't even have a mattress for this baby. Oh, wait, I have a bassinet. But I don't have a car seat, how are we going to get her home. Oh, wait, we went over that one already. Uh oh. I hope I don't have to make Mason pull over.
"Um, you might have to pull over soon."
Mason starts to get over into the outside lane. "Now?"
"Yeah" Too late. It's a good thing I hadn't just eaten since I had to catch it all in my hand.

Fortunately, I happen to have 3 half empty bottles of water, and 1 full one. Which helped for rinsing off my hands and face, but then I was dripping wet. Tank top! There were 2 on my back seat that I had planned on changing into the day before. What luck. Okay, I feel better now. I mean a lot better. My back hardly hurts anymore. Maybe we should just call the doctor and head home. Get at least a few hours of sleep before work tomorrow. No, we'd better go anyway. It might come back. Where is the dang hospital entrance anyway. It's not like I've never been here before for crying out loud. I know where it is, I'll know it when I see it. I can't see anything in this darkness. I'll call my sister. She knows things like where we parked the car and which entrance to go to.

Okay, I'm just going to relax. I'm only 30 weeks. They are going to do everything possible to make sure this baby stays in there. Now to check in and explain that my back no longer hurts, ow. Okay, now we are up to a 5 on the pain scale. Oh, 7. Oh, good here is our room. Holy crap, 10! I hate being a 10 on the pain scale! Wait, I have to pee in a cup? I can barely move and you want me to pee in a cup. Damn, I missed. The cups at the doctors office are so much more forgiving. Great, and now I'm incredibly hot. I'm sweating, in pain and have pee on my hand. Ugh!

Okay, I'm just going to lie down and wait for someone to give me some drugs. Oh, you want me to lie on my back so you can tie straps around my belly? The most uncomfortable position at the moment? Ow, does it have to be so tight? Oh, I don't like you. My goodness there are a lot of questions you people are asking me. Oww, oh it's a 7 again. That's nice, she is going to stop asking me questions while she feels my belly. Okay, that's better, the pain seems to have gone away.  And I didn't even have to puke this time!  Seriously, how many people are going to ask me how many weeks I am?  Do you people not write this down? 

A couple hours later, they released me.  Apparently they just wanted to make sure there wasn't an issue with my kidneys and observe me for awhile.  If someone would have told me that before we left the house, I would have been a whole lot calmer.  Which Dr. B may have explained that over the phone.  If he did, Mason never heard it.  He probably stopped hearing after they said go straight to Labor and Delivery.  No one at the hospital could even tell me what caused the pain and nausea, so here is my diagnosis. 

There once was a baby, who thought it would be fun to swing on the monkey bars (my ribs).  But then her little arms grew tired, so she used her feet to brace herself on the pole (my spine).  Then, she found a nice cushion to sit on while she hung there (my stomach).  All of the sudden, the cushion started to move and then lost it's great squish and the sweet little girl fell off the monkey bars.  Not to be discouraged, she climbed up them again and got in the same position, but the cushion was no longer there.  She dangled there for a little while before dropping to rest and trying again.  Eventually she grew tired and settled in to sleep.