Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The Baby Dream

Saturday night, well actually Sunday morning, as I slept in listening to the rain I had a dream about having my baby.  I was in the delivery room with my Mom, my doctor and a nurse, and I had just delivered the baby.  Except, I didn't remember anything about it.  I didn't remember pushing or having contractions or even them placing the baby on my chest afterwards.  Try as I might, I just couldn't remember any of this happening.  Then the doctor said, "Okay, as soon as the nurse comes back with your baby, you are free to go."  This is when I looked at my Mom, and she looked equally confused.  I mean, wasn't I supposed to stay there for a few days so they could make sure everything was working properly?  My baby was less then an hour old and they were ready to send me out the door.  This is about the time that I realized Mason wasn't there.  He was out flying his RC Airplanes (which is actually where he was that morning).  I'm not sure why it didn't bother me at this point that he missed the birth of our child.  Perhaps because I missed it too, which I still don't understand, how I of all people missed it.

But more then anything, I just wanted to see my baby.  So Mom and I made our way to the nursery window, where my sister joined us.  There were about 6 huge windows, each window had about 25-30 babies.  They were all marked with the baby's first name.  Which was confusing to me, because I didn't remember officially deciding on any name.  So I quickly changed it and started looking for Stockwell.  Then I thought about Mason still not being there, and I thought about how upset he would be that he missed it.  My sister asked which one was my baby, I told her I didn't know I was still trying to find her. 

I woke up shortly after I started searching the third window.  I never did find her and I was never able to remember the delivery.  I couldn't even tell you if it was a c-section or not.  This dream was perhaps more disturbing then the one where I thought I was single and pregnant, I was upset that no one wanted to date a pregnant girl.

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